As a single woman in a church setting, it can sometimes feel like you’re not quite fitting the traditional mold. However, I’ve learned there are ways to navigate this unique position with faith and obedience.
I often felt left out at church because most conversations among women pertain to married life and motherhood (neither of which pertain to me). Initially, this left me feeling inadequate and questioning myself. Shouldn’t I be married with kids by 32? Was there something wrong with me that I haven’t found a good Christian man yet? These unanswered questions frequently visited my mind every Sunday…until my pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 7.
He started out with the principles of marriage. Unfamiliar territory for me, obviously. But a light bulb went off when he read verse 8, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.” Wait, what? It’s okay to be single?!
Now, I’ve read the book of 1 Corinthians many times, but since the Word of God is living and active, it can speak to us differently and teach us new insights as we need them. And as Pastor Lambert kept speaking, he got to verses 32-35, which pulled everything together for me. Sometimes God works in non-mysterious ways. 😉
[32] I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. [33] But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, [34] and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. [35] I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
After an in-depth study of 1 Corinthians 7 and a lot of prayer, I came to a new understanding of how I should feel about being a single Christian woman.
Being single doesn’t define my worth or value. My identity is rooted in Christ and His love for me. I should be embracing this season of singleness as an opportunity to grow closer to God and deepen my faith.
One of the benefits of being part of a church community is the opportunity to build strong relationships with fellow believers. Instead of feeling left out among the married women, I can bond with them over our shared position in Christ.
Now, if God does want to send a good Christian man my way, I will be glad to pursue it. However, if he doesn’t attend my church or work for a mail delivery service, there’s a very small chance of us meeting. 🤷♀️
Single Ladies, you don’t have to feel left out at church for being single amongst the many wives and mothers. Focus on God and building your relationship with Him first and He will show you ways to connect and serve with your sisters in Christ. Lonliness can make us jealous of others but neither of those qualities should describe a child of God. Pray through it and meditate on God’s Word during this season of your life.
Dawn Zauner 